feelings and change

I don't know where to start but with my feelings as of late. I don't know if I have come to any terms with myself and I am tired of it. One of the only things that keeps me from doing anything with somebody is my lack of "gaydar" if I knew someone was willing to go on a date or hang out I would prob. do it. I'm not saying I'd turn into a slut but I'd definitely have fun... I'm tired of
beating myself up for everything I do that has anything to do with my ssa. I realize if I don't change something when school starts I won't be able to get through. I can't afford to screw up one semester and that is why change is necessary. So whats the point of this blog? I don't know, for suggestions on what to do from people that have been in the same place? Or suggestions on how to be sure that someone is truly gay??? but what ever... I'm posting this and not thinking twice cause it is truly my thoughts...