pointless

so theres a lot on my mind, but none of it makes sense... I have to work for the next 10 hours and so I have plenty of time to sort out everything but all I want to do is go to sleep... so whats the point of this? I don't know, I think I'm learning money doesn't buy happiness and I just have to accept things for what they are... I really enjoyed "heres to hope" last post but I don't know what will come of reading it... anway I will shut up now and maybe come back later and get my thoughts out better....

Winter

so I'm not from Utah but this is my 3rd winter I've lived here. Every year I forget the fact that winter is cold and long. This winter was going to be different, I had jeep and it was fun to play in the snow with. This was only the case for the first few times it snowed. Then it got colder and everything went into hibernation and it was peaceful for awhile. But since then it's gone on for too long. About two weeks ago it got warmer and the foothills began to thaw out, this meant mud, mud is much funner than snow... but again it got cold and it has been snowing every night this week... so I'm not going to add any symbolism into this I am just looking forward to spring...

I'm not GAY???

I swear... OK so this will probably end up going nowhere and end stupidly but whatever.

So to start no I am not in denial. I obsessed with men I don't know why but I am, but even more so I am obsessed with myself. So I'm conceited? Actually I think I am and I think there are a lot of people I meet that think exactly that. I am so busy trying to act tough and being cool to myself that I don't really have any friends so I have to continue to look tough and be cool not to give myself away. It's a never ending cycle...

Lately I have been wasting a lot of money on stupid stuff I don't need to make myself feel better about myself and for people to think wow that kid really is cool...(that sounds like high school and that makes me really sick) but it's true. I don't know what it is, I'm 23 I've been living on my own for 6 years but now I am throwing this crazy temper tantrum for attention? and wasting all my money. But what good has it been doing anyways, I mean I've been saving it up for 6 years, for what?

The other part is I have reached the end of an era. I have to move and goto another school? I don't know where, I'm half way comfortable now but I have to move on. Is it I'm scared of the future, yes. I don't know where to go or what to do. But the motorcycle I'll probably end up with is going to be sweet and think of all the money I will save...

title less

so as I started writing this U2's song "stuck in a moment" came to mind I looked it up and this is the video link, I think it will work but I think pop ups has to be enabled???
http://www.my995fm.com/cc-common/videos_on_demand/index.php?reference_id=5423
anyway I don't know really what to say, I've still been reading peoples blogs, thinking and just living from day to day... I don't have the eloquence of others in writing but I guess I don't care... so yeah whatever I don't feel like this but it's a good song so listen to it...

Blogging

I consider myself not to be computer illiterate, but I have never been able to comprehend blogging the setup and format just doesn't add up in my head. Regardless I am going to try again and say something that is on my mind. This Christmas I have decided to be greedy and go on vacation instead of putting up with family... and I am happy about that desision. I have received flack about this but the ticket is bought and I can't wait to leave. I will also be away for new years and I want to be the first one to bring up new years resolutions. I don't know if I'm a big fan of them but I want to make a few. I don't know what they are going to be but something to the effect of I want to loose 10lbs... j/k sorry, this isn't much better but figuring out where I stand in my life. I have just be holding on and I want to start to be in control. I know that is a big one but its something that has be on my mind this whole year (2006) so maybe in 2007 I will do something about it.

so I have started to comment on a few peoples blogs so I fig. I'd write my own post... ummm this is just my life at the moment I am literally failing one of my classes and that makes it (my life) that much more difficult but o'well I still don't know spanish.

Yeah I don't know spanish...